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Janelle's diary transcript
This diary transcript was made and formerly hosted by a fansite at www.dsera.com/lostdiary.html; the former page is archived at archive.org. ---- Day One Can’t control hand from shaking – plane crashed!! All that life flashing before eyes stuff – NOT TRUE. Don’t know what happened. Remember sucking wind and noise – deafening noise. Head still ringing. Not a believer in GOD, but I prayed. Amazingly still in one piece – couple of scrapes and bruises. Found this notebook and decided to write – don’t know what else to do. Where are we? Just mountains and water – everywhere… Night One Getting dark now – never saw so many stars Campfires scattered along the beach – ours is the biggest Something smells – burnt bodies? I’m sick to my stomach – can’t eat plane meals this fat guy’s been handing out. Where is the Coast Guard? Why aren’t they here yet? Tried my cell phone – no connection. Parents are probably worried sick. Gotta stop writing. So tired. Day Two Nice man in checkered shirt offered me an orange for breakfast – still can’t eat. We’re all wondering what the hell that noise was last night. Some off to look for cockpit – not me. Something scary out there. Pen is running out of ink TYPICAL LUCK More later… Borrowed pen from poor preggo lady. Huddled under a raft when it started to POUR – still got soaked. Drying in sun now. Walked down the beach. Saw some good waves. Big fight on beach when I returned – tempers starting to flare. Finally ate something – sea urchin – SUCHI! Still hungry. Transceiver found, but not working. Some hiking to higher ground – I hate hiking. No survivors in cockpit. They probably think we’re dead too… Night Two Played Backgammon with Walt today – good kid. Boredom has set in and I’m officially burnt. It always hurts more once the sun goes down. Night Three Found my check on bag today!!! All clothes. no toiletries. So, now I have a bathing suit – still no sign of surfboard. Always fantasized about being stranded on an island and it’s not really so bad… worse part is hunger. And of course, looking at perfect peering lifts and not having my board. Thinking of my family and friends tonight. I miss them… Day Three There’s a doctor on the island. He’s with some guy in bad shape – has a piece of metal from plane sticking out of his side. Went over there to see if Dr had any sun block – no luck. By the look of shrapnel guy, I guess things could be worse. Day Four No signal out, which means no call for help. They asked for electronics to boost it, so I gave up my cell phone. It’s of no use to me anymore. We’re rationing food and setting up tarps to collect rainwater – should have plenty cause it started to pour again today – out of nowhere, just torrential. I set up a makeshift shelter against a tree. It’s home… for now. Night Four The shrapnel guy is driving us all nuts with his screaming – poor guy. Why hasn’t anyone come to rescue us? I haven’t seen one plane pass overhead. It doesn’t make any sense. Day Five Heard a gunshot last night. Who the hell has a gun!? Walt found his dog today – I miss my dog. Took a nap in the shade, white fine sand – feels good except for the twisting pangs of hunger in my stomach. Quit smoking last year, but who the hell cares now – bummed one from this guy named Sawyer. The nicotine satisfied my hunger. Night Five Dog woke me up and now I can’t go back to sleep. Some commotion by the fuselage, but I’m too tired to find out what’s going on. Sleeping on the cool sand and the breeze is keeping the bugs away. Now if that dog would just stop barking… Day Six We’ve been asked to gather firewood. Wild boars were in the fuselage last night and we have to burn the bodies that are inside. Claire, the pregnant lady who loaned me her pen, is going to hold some kind of memorial. There was another fight today – figures it was Sawyer. Only this time he got into it with the fat guy over peanuts – literally! I have a few extra packages but I’m not sharing them. Is that selfish? The guy in the checkered shirt is going hunting for boars – never had boar meat, but I’m hungry enough to try almost anything. Put on my suit and walked down to the beach for a swim – the water is really beautiful here. The fat guy was down there with a friend trying to spear a fish – what a riot that was – first time I laughed since we crashed! I’m back on the beach now, trying to turn an earring into a fish hook. If I can find something to use for line, I’d be in business. Night Six We read the names of the dead tonight – one of them was sitting next me. Surreal – feels like a dream. I can’t believe this is happening. And still can’t believe rescue hasn’t come. The signal fire has been burning for days… Day Seven Joanna drowned today. She’s someone I went diving with in Australia and she ended up on my plane. She even switched seats so we could sit together and talk about the trip. She was traveling the coast, diving the Great Barrier Reef. It just doesn’t make sense she was smarter than that she knew about the rip tides and how to swim parallel to the beach. And to make matters worse, someone stole all of the remaining water. I know there’s a way to turn salt water into fresh water, I just don’t remember how. I asked Sawyer for more smokes, which he hasn’t returned with yet. Back to the lovely addiction. Night Seven They found the guy who stole the water, but it’s still not enough. The doctor says he found a new source inland. I’ll go fill some bottles, but I’m staying right here on the beach in case a plane flies over. I met this guy named Charlie tonight – used to be in a band called Drive Shaft. I have one of their CDs. He’s got a tattoo that says, “living is easy with eyes closed”. Obviously a Beatles fan. After this experience, my eyes are wide open… Day Eight I just realized something – I’ve got a 6000 dollar credit card bill. Good luck tracking me down for those payments! Still, I’d pay double that to get off this island. Things are starting to get dodgy: there was a huge fight today between Michael and the Korean guy. If Sayid and Sawyer hadn’t pulled him off I think he would have drowned Michael. What a psycho – I feel sorry for his wife, she seems so nice. We need to get out of here. Night Eight There’s a big debate about where to set up camp. Hurley told me he, Charlie, Locke, and some of the others are moving to the source of the fresh water – Jack says there is shelter there. I don’t care if there’s a five star hotel, I’m not going in that jungle! How many times do I have to tell these guys, when the rescue planes fly over I don’t want to miss my chance to signal them. I’ve got my little mirror all ready. Kate isn’t going either. I trust her. Day Nine I don’t feel very good. I’ve been nauseous for two days. I saw Jack today when he was picking up supplies to take back to the new shelter – he told me to try and stay out of the sun. What does he want me to do – move to Seattle? I was going to move my stuff into the infirmary because it has a cover on it, but Sawyer got there first. That guy is really starting to get on my nerves – he won’t give me any more cigarettes. Not for free anyway…. Pig. I think Sayid is up to something. I saw him talking Kate and Boone and he was holding this long pole with some sort of electronic thing on the end. The he and Kate took off into the jungle. Strange. Jack is dead! Charlie just came running on to the beach all covered in dirt. He said there was a cave in at the shelter and that Jack was buried alive. Michael and a few of the others went to go see if they could help, but it sounds like it’s too late. And where is Kate – does she even know? What the hell are we going to do now? What if someone gets hurt? Oh my God. What are we going to do? Day Ten I went to the caves yesterday to see about Jack - it was pretty crazy, Scott told me before I got there. Michael was able to dig a small tunnel all the way through to where Jack was. Charlie crawled through it to help him, only to have the entire thing cave in again! People were freaking out, especially Kate, and trying to dig them out, but there was no chance. Way too much dirt and rocks. And then, just when we were about to give up they both came walking out of the jungle.. ALIVE! I was caught by surprise at how relieved I was to see them. I mean, I've only known these people for 10 days, and when they came walking towards me, I almost cried with relief. It makes me think we all have a real chance at making it through this together. Maybe... Sawyer got stabbed! I don't know who did it, but I think it was Jack. I saw them getting into it over by the old infirmary tent - if Kate hadn't walked up at the last minute, I think they would have brawled. Larry hit on me again today. He actually told me he wanted to "ask me out". Uh, out where exactly? I mean what's he going to do, take me ice skating? Honestly, there is NO WAY I'd go out with him - I was hoping he'd figure it out but the guy obviously can't take a hint. Day 13 I think I saw a whale this morning. I couldn't sleep again, so I went for a swim -- the water was so glassy it looked like you could have run across it for miles if only you were fast enough. I really like the time I get to myself early in the morning before any of the others are awake -- very peaceful and calm. So there I was floating in the ocean when I heard a sound like a steam vent blowing behind me. I turned around and saw this really huge shape going back and forth under the surface. Scared the hell out of me actually, but it was so cool! Day 14 Boone came to the beach earlier to tell us all that Jack and Charlie and a few others were all playing golf. I thought he'd been in the sun too long (he seems a little soft to me), but I didn't have anything better to do, so I followed the crowd as he led us into the jungle. Sure enough, there they were: Michael, Charlie and Jack in the middle of what Hurley called the "Island Open". I don't know how he did it, but Hurley managed to build a 2-hole golf course! It was incredible, people were really laughing. I had forgotten what laughter sounded like. Everyone got really into it, even betting on the action -- I won an extra helping of boar meat off Larry when Jack made his putt -- what a sucker! People are already lined up to play tomorrow. I never was any good at that game. But I suppose now I've got the time to practice. Night 15 After our golf game yesterday, I decided to hang out at the caves for awhile and enjoy my extra serving of boar meat. We were all having a good time, sitting around the campfire. Sawyer even broke out a couple of bottles of airplane booze and cigarettes. Larry was off behind the fire, staring at us. The guy really creeps me out. So when everyone else headed back to the beach, I decided to camp out at the caves. It was pretty comfortable until Claire woke up screaming. I guess she was having some sort of nightmare. My sister had the craziest dreams when she was pregnant. Anyways, after that, I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I hiked back down here to the beach where I found Sawyer cozied up with that chick Kate. Should've walked back with him when I had the chance. Night 16 Hurley is out taking names and info from all of us because someone attacked Claire - and apparently, this time it wasn't a nightmare. I don't know what good it's gonna do having a list of our names, but at least maybe we'll all feel safer - ha! It's scary to think, but we really don't know who we're stuck on this island with. Someone could be a pedophile or drug addict. For all I know, Larry could be a rapist - if his name is even really Larry. Gonna have to be a little more careful? Day 17 My God, we've been sitting here on this island for over two weeks, sleeping next to people who could be capable of anything! And I'm never going to turn my back on Larry again. People aren't always what they seem, if anyone knows that by now, it's me. I suppose after surviving the crash I just assumed it couldn't possibly get any worse here. I'm sure most of us did. We were wrong. I wasn't prepared for what happened this morning. I got to the caves to find all hell breaking loose. Before I could ask what was going on, I saw Sayid on the ground - he didn't look good at all, but that was nothing compared to the panic going through the camp about Claire (the pregnant lady) and Charlie - They've been kidnapped! Everybody is pointing the finger at this creepy guy named Ethan, but nobody really knows what the hell is going on. I spent most of the day looking for them with Michael and a few of the others, but we didn't have any luck. I knew there was something wrong with this group and now I have to worry what some sicko is doing to Claire. God, it's like the nightmare is starting all over again! You can't tell me that I survived that week in Louisiana to be thrown back into this again. I told myself every single day in the hospital that all I had to do was stay alive. Just survive and make it to the trial and the rest of my life would be perfect - that's what this trip was supposed to be about! I'll tell you one thing: I'm not going to be a victim. Not again ... No way! From here on out, I'm taking care of myself and if anyone else tries to pull anything, I'm going to be ready for them. Day 22 There is something seriously wrong with this island. I was woken up this morning by the sound of waves crashing on the shore - big ones, at least 10 feet. I've spent enough years in the water to know how the tides work and never, ever have I seen the tide come up this far, this quickly. Maybe it has something to do with being close to the equator, but it was as if someone flicked a switch and turned on the waves. The water line is rising fast - too fast! The shelters we've fashioned were being swept away and everyone was in a panic to rescue as much as possible before it was too late. I had to make sure I saved my dive bag (can you imagine if that washed up somewhere for somebody to open???) and saw that Larry had it in his hand! I got right in his face, and told him to give it back right now. He laid story on about how he was just trying to help make sure I didn't lose anything - does he think I was born yesterday? I never thought it was possible, but the plane wreckage is actually being carried away from the beach! It's as if the sea is taking what it was owed. I didn't think I would miss that horrible hunk of twisted metal, but, losing it makes me feel like we've said goodbye to the real world. Maybe forever. We're moving to a new camp further up the beach and out of reach of the waves (at least for now). Everybody seems to be comfortable there, but not me. Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it. So I've decided to stop trying to deny it and start to get ready. Each morning I'm swimming a little further and in the afternoon I run up hill to the golf course. Getting stronger - every day. And when I feel like quitting, all I have to do is remember the consequences of not being prepared. I'm eating as much as I can, trading anything and everything for a little extra meat. Need the protein. Need to keep pushing. Day 23 I feel awful today. I need more to eat - the fruit and small amount of fish I've been getting just isn't enough. What happened to the boar? I only started training again a few days ago, but I am already exhausted. Swimming is still easy for me, but my legs burn like fire every time I run up that hill. I have to stop and lay down for a while up at the top because I'm too spent to walk back down again. Yesterday I fell asleep at the top of the hill and when I woke up, it was pitch black. I was just laying there looking at the stars, feeling safe for the first time in a long time when something strange happened. I could have sworn I heard whispering all around me. I didn't have my dive bag with me, so I felt even more vulnerable. But let me tell you, the pain in my legs went away in about one second and I was ready to fight. But there was nobody there. I didn't like that feeling at all and I think I made it back to the beach in about 5 minutes flat! I can't let my guard down like that. Ever. Not here. Day 24 I was out running again today when I came across Locke and Boone here in the woods. They were with Walt, teaching him to throw a knife at a tree. How crazy is that? Who lets a ten year old play with knives? And I thought those guys were supposed to be hunting? Is this some sort of target practice? When I returned to the beach, Sawyer told me that Michael decided to build a raft. Didn't he see 'Castaway? Looks may be deceiving, but the waves breaking on the outer reef have been over ten feet since we got here. I've offered to help look for a better place to launch while I'm out running. Maybe on the leeward side. Thing is, we have no idea how big this island is... Day 25 Claire is back! - shaken up, but still alive and to everyone's relief. Jack says the baby seems fine, but what's strange is that she doesn't remember anything that happened to her. No recollection of the last eight days! And she doesn't remember any of us - not even Charlie. The entire camp is starting realize the danger that surrounds us. We posted guards around our perimeter during the night, but I'm not relying on anyone else to protect me. I'm spending the night next to the biggest fire I can find with my dive bag at my side. Day 26 Out running on the beach this morning scoping potential places to launch the raft, so my attention was on the shoreline, not the tree line. You know that feeling you get when you just know someone is behind you? Well, I had it - bad. But when I turned around, there was nobody there. I picked up the pace and moved closer to the water. A few hundred yards later, I felt it again, so I whipped around, fists ready. And this time, I swear I saw someone in the distance. I moved toward them, but they disappeared into the fog. Weird. Someone or something was following me - I know it. But that's not the worst of it. As I backed up, scanning the area, I tripped over something and fell hard to the sand...and that's when I saw him -- Scott from camp was laying there all twisted and bloody. And it was no accident - every major bone in the guy's body was broken. That could have been me! We have to get off this island... Day 27 Charlie shot Ethan! A bunch of people went out into the jungle armed with guns - where are all these guns coming from!? - and, using Claire as bait, brought Ethan to them. Apparently, they all agreed to catch him and keep him alive, but Charlie had other ideas. He fired without asking questions. Some people are angry, even afraid of Charlie, but I'm the last person to pass judgment about something like that. I mean, Ethan kidnapped Claire, strung him up by his neck and left him to die. What did they expect him to do? I bet Ethan killed Scott, too. What a psycho! Maybe now we can all rest a little easier. The good news is that the boars are back! In fact, one attacked Sawyer's tent last night - serves him right. That guy can be such a jerk. I don't know why Kate hangs around him so much. Anyway, now we'll finally get some meat - I'm so sick of fruit and fish. Day 30 That Korean guy starting screaming at his wife again - just for wearing a bikini. What a jerk! It's like a thousand degrees here. Michael saw what was happening and got up in his face - those two really hate each other. With this heat, I suppose we should expect tempers to flare... Day 31 Someone set the raft on fire last night, creating a pretty huge blaze. All that work, gone to waste! People are pointing the finger at the Korean guy, who took off into the woods. But I saw that little kid Walt playing with matches yesterday. #1, what the hell is the kid doing with matches? Those are valuable commodity on this island. And #2, why would anyone burn down our only hope of getting out of this God forsaken place? Day 32 The surprises just keep on coming! Sawyer found the Korean guy out in the woods and brought him back to camp to face the music. It took about three seconds for Michael to jump him and I think he would've kicked the crap out of him this time if his wife hadn't spoke up and screamed for him to stop - IN ENGLISH! Why on earth didn't she speak up before!? I wonder if she even care? At least now I know his name is Jin! Day 33 Went swimming this morning - always makes me really hungry. Still no meat. What happened to that boar that attacked Sawyer's tent the other night? I really don't know what the heck Locke and Boone are doing out there all day, but I think I'm going to follow them tomorrow and find out for myself... Day 34 I knew it! I knew they weren't really out there trying to hunt for boar... This morning I got up and headed down to the beach for my swim like always -- only this time I didn't go in the water. I walked down the beach a ways and then hurried back into the bush to hide and watch the camp. Just before the sun came up Locke and Boone wet off on to go hunting... And I followed them. They walked for a long time, way over an hour into parts of the island I haven't yet explored. And just when I thought they might actually be trying to locate food they arrived at their destination. I don't know what else to say except that there was this huge... "thing" made of metal and surrounded by what looked like concrete. I couldn't get close enough to see exactly what it was, but one thing is definitely clear. Whatever it is -- it's man-made. And Locke and Boone are keeping it a secret. I don't know what they would do if they knew I had followed them, but I'm going to make damn sure they don't. And I don't ever go anywhere without my dive bag anymore -- ever. What the hell is going on here and why is everyone keeping secrets. All I want is to get off this damn island and if whatever is in the jungle can help with that, Locke and Boon have no right to keep it to themselves! Who do they think they are, anyway? God, I'm so confused! I just want to go home... Day 36 I think they must have found something out there. Yesterday, when I was following them it looked like he and Boone were arguing -- probably about something to do with that thing way out in the jungle. And then today, I heard that Boone had suffered some sort of an accident. Yeah, I know how dangerous "accidents" can be. And so does a certain someone who lives back in Louisiana. Or who used to anyway... I wanted to see for myself, so I got over to the caves as fast as I could, but the situation over there was total chaos. Hurley told me Jack needed room to work and not to crowd them. Still, I got a good enough look inside the makeshift O.R. Jack put up to see Boone -- and it sure wasn't pretty. And in the middle of all this I heard Charlie ranting about Claire having her baby right now! I didn't know what to do, so I just ran back to the beach and found a quiet place to write all this down. I opened my dive bag and made sure my kit was ready. Something about the cold steel in my hands makes me feel better. I'm not sure, but people are saying Boone could die tonight. And get a load of this.... nobody seem to know where Locke is. But I've got a pretty good idea. And I think I'm going to find out what he's up to. Day 38 Where are we? Two nights ago, after all the insanity with Boone I grabbed my kit from my dive bag, strapped it on my belt and set off to try and find Locke. I just knew he would be at that thing way out in the jungle, and sure enough, he was! It's a hatch. I know that sounds crazy (why do people always think I'm crazy!), but that's what it is. A hatch out in the middle of the jungle on a deserted island! Locke was kneeling on top of it and his shirt was covered in blood, but I don't think it was his because there was so much -- he'd be dead by now if it were. But he didn't look good. He was on his knees, crying and pounding on it and staring into what looked like a little window. And then a light went on ... from inside the window on the hatch! I gasped -- I couldn't help myself -- and I thought that Locke must have heard me, but he didn't even turn his head in my direction. If a light went on from inside this hatch then something, or someone must have switched it on! Why haven't they come to help us!! I'm beginning to feel like we're all part of some horrible experiment. People are dying out here! I only know one thing for certain: I'm not going to be one of the... Day 42 Someone poisoned Michael, which means someone is pretty damn desperate to stop the raft from launching - and I think I know who. Is he crazy? That's probably our best chance of rescue at this point. I've been talking with Sawyer, trying like hell to bargain my way on the raft, but that guy is one tough negotiator. I offered everything Everything. He says he's going to talk to Michael for me, but we all know Sawyer doesn't care about anybody but himself and my chances don't look good -- there isn't even any room for Walt's dog. I've gotta get the hell out of here...